In an effort to simplify and live more intentionally, I am taking time off of social media. Best wishes to you all.
It’s the last stop on the Holiday Blog Hop, and it’s an inspiring one for a fresh new year! Hop over to Waldorf Salad and Cottage Fries (perhaps my favorite blog title) to learn about creating a vision board for the coming year.
I’ve been really happy lately… No, I didn’t win the lottery, my husband didn’t get a big raise, I didn’t just enjoy a day at the spa. I’ve just been happy. My world has been turning in much the same way that it has been for months. Not much has changed. My kids still whine far more often than I’d like. My house is still messy most of the time. I still feel like the time flies by so fast that it takes my breath with it many days. Yet in the midst of my hectic life, I feel immensely blessed. In the quiet moments before I fall asleep at night, or while listening to the radio in the car on the way to pick my son up from preschool I find my self smiling and breathing slowly and joyfully, and I realize that I am truly happy. The calm, in the moment, happy that you find in your soul when you least expect it. The kind that you realize is there only when you slow down long enough to feel it, but know is there all the time tinting everything you do with an added purpose and kindness. The kind of happiness that reassure us that everything will be OK and makes us say, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this!”
I share this today because I usually write reflectively when I’m feeling overwhelmed or struggling with some aspect of life. I think it’s important to acknowledge and bask in the moments of joy and peace too. I wish you all happiness and joy this morning. It’s a heavenly day!
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I rediscovered Waldorf a few months ago, when I was looking for a way to infuse our days with purpose. I was reminded of its simple focus on nature and home and rhythm. I was hooked. I went to my library and checked out Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne along with Amanda Blake Soule’s Rhythm of Family: Discovering a Sense of Wonder Through the Seasons. I dove right into Simplicity Parenting and was inspired to simplify and organize my home. I went through my house room by room and purged what we don’t use and found a place for everything. I redecorated and redesigned my dining room which actually is more than just a place to eat. Because our house is small, we use our dining room as a home office and a space for our children to craft and play. Now it functions better in all its uses. I wrote about simplifying my son’s room and toys here and here.
Rhythm of Family inspired me to refocus on the rhythm of nature around me. I began my mission to relax, stop trying so hard to create a rhythm for my family and to listen to the rhythms around me and in spite of me. This is not always an easy task for a planner like me, but I’m trying. Amanda Soule’s book is beautiful and filled with seasonal crafts and projects organized by month. I hope to purchase this book and open it each month as a meditation on living in the present. I also want to have the projects to refer to as my children grow.
When I had completed these books, I was in deep. I was finding peace and rhythm in my life and I wanted more! So I ordered Heaven on Earth: A Handbook for Parents of Young Children by Sharifa Oppenheimer and Beyond the Rainbow Bridge: Nurturing our Children from Birth to Seven by Barbara J Patterson. I read Heaven on Earth First and began to feel stress. How was I going to replace all of my children’s plastic toys with wooden ones? How could I redesign my backyard to have hills and mud and bush houses? How could I possibly convince my husband to allow and indoor sandbox or the children’s toys to take over more of our family room? And did I really want to? It didn’t take me long to answer the last question with a resounding, “NO!” And I quickly realized that the answer to the other questions was, “I don’t have too.” Once I let go of my idea of perfection, I began searching for ways to add Waldorf ways into the life that my family already lives. So we began lighting a candle at dinner. My son began setting the table and clearing the table. I began filling the sink with water and allowing my son to “wash” the dirty dishes after lunch. I set aside a time each day for outside play. My husband and I began trying to get out one evening a week for a nature walk with the kids. I got my son an apron 🙂
Then I began Beyond the Rainbow Bridge. I loved the beginning and felt so happy and excited about continuing my journey with Waldorf. Then I got to the parts where Patterson begins describing child development from a religious/spiritual perspective. As an educator, I fancy myself a scientist or sorts. I trust scientific studies and research. I get a little squeamish when I start reading prescriptions for how children should learn without the research to back it up. I also disagree that all children learn in the same ways. To suggest that all preschoolers see dolls as images of themselves and enjoy caring for them is to ignore or condemn children who don’t. After 5 years teaching preschool, I happen to know that some children don’t like dolls. These theories that aren’t backed up by research reminded me of a conversation I had a few years ago with an acquaintance who teaches at a Waldorf school. She was telling me (after my son was born through C-section) that at her school children who are born surgically are given squeeze therapy where they crawl through narrow tunnels and are placed under weighted blankets. The theory is that they have an insecure relationship with the space around them because they did not experience the squeezing of the birth canal. I was shocked! And offended to say the least. As with most things, people pollute them with their judgments.
I worry about locking our children into the Waldorf ideal that we hold so dear in our hearts and minds as parents. I worry that we ignore our children as unique individuals when we adhere to strictly to an image of learning. I hope to bring those aspects that make sense for my family into our family rhythms, and let go of my images of a perfect Waldorf life. My life is already perfect with all of it’s imperfections.
Happy Tuesday everyone!
As many of you may know from previous posts, I have been doing some soul-searching lately. Staying at home with 2 children has been a real adjustment for me. I often feel pulled in several directions and feel that someone needs something from me at any given moment. This does not leave a lot of time for me to gather my thoughts and reflect on the type of mother and person I hope to be or the type of mother and person that I am becoming. I feel as though I am stumbling through most days just trying to keep up with all of the demands of my children and home. By the evening when my children are peaceful in their beds, I struggle to find the energy to do much beyond flopping my exhausted body on the couch and watching a show or two before bed. Then morning comes and we begin the whole thing over again and again and again.
I started this blog as a way to focus on my hopes for the future, to spend some time reflecting on my successes and struggles. Spending time on the computer writing and sharing has led me to browse some of your blogs and to think about some theories and styles of learning and teaching that I haven’t thought deeply about since my time in college studying to become a teacher. As a parent now, I have a new perspective and the information has a new saliency for me.
I have been reading books about Waldorf education and simplicity parenting. While these movements have always resonated with my beliefs about children, family life, and nature; I struggle with the pieces which seem based more in faith than science but touted as science and the prescriptive way that many authors write about their ideals. And perhaps that is at the heart of how I feel about it. It’s an ideal. But I still need and want to live in the reality of my home, my family, my community, my neighborhood, my circle of friends. So I’m sure I’m stating the obvious, but sometimes it helps to just get it out. I’m choosing to take a little and leave a little.
I belive in simplicity. Less of some things makes more room for other things. Less toys, less stimulation, less TV makes room for more conversation, more singing, more baking, more gardening, more crafting, more painting, more loving, more being together. And all that leads to calm joy.
I believe in nature. The outdoors and our natural ability to find with in ourselves what we need, if we give ourselves the space to do it. I want that for myself and my children. So here I am back where I remember being in my 20’s with some of the same high ideals, but now I have a family. And that makes it all more important.
I think I’ll head out to the garden now 🙂